Help I have a fussy eater! Fussy eater tips.
How to enjoy meal times again with your fussy eater.
Hello and welcome to my blog. Today I want to talk about fussy eating children and give you some fussy eater tips. Some parents luckily don’t have a fussy eater. For some it can just be a case of wanting to improve your child’s relationship with food. Or maybe wanting to encourage your child to explore more foods. For some parents, their child’s fussy eating can become worrisome, frustrating and quite stressful. If this is the case, you are not alone. The parent guilt can so easily set in over many parenting challenges but fear not and guilt not. Parenting is not easy and its never perfect. It’s a journey of nurturing your child and helping them to overcome their own challenges. So don’t feel guilty! Just be patient and nuture. There are many reasons why your child could be a fussy eater. Some could be psychological and some could be physical. Lets take a look at some ideas…
Fussy eater tips #1. Release your expectations for your child’s eating
It took me a while to overcome this one myself. I was so concerned with my child having enough to eat and consuming enough nutrients, however my mum always said “If they’re hungry, they will eat”. I did put this to the test and released my expectations of what I wanted them to consume in a day. I have learnt to trust that my child has his own intuition. He’s not stupid and he will eat if he needs to. I have noticed that my children go through growth spurts. Sometimes they will eat a lot, sometimes hardly anything. I have learnt to trust my child’s own hunger signals.
Let’s put ourselves in our children’s shoes, some days we are hungrier than others. Depending on how active we’ve been, whats been going on in our lives and just what our body needs at that time. Imagine another adult pressuring you daily into eating more than you feel like. It would be awful! And while us parents only have good intentions, sometimes we could be creating problems where there is none.
Accept the child’s cravings
Sometimes it can really rack our brains that our child has been loving scrambled eggs for their whole life then one day they wont eat it anymore. For us parents, it feels devastating to lose a food from the usually small list of options that their child will eat. Especially if it’s a healthy one. I don’t know about you but I really start to fear about what on earth I’m going to feed them now!? But this is making it all about myself. So what if they don’t want to eat scrambled eggs for a while. Isn’t that their right? To choose what they want to put in their bodies. To listen to their own body and what it wants. It’s easier to accept that scrambled eggs is out of the window. And hey maybe they will replace it with a food you’ve always dreamt they would eat. It helps ourselves so much to just release that expectation and control when it comes to our kids food.
When my little boy was a baby, I used to mash avocado up and spoon feed it to him. He loved it! I felt like the best mum in the world that my boy would eat avocado. I felt superior. I simply loved the lady at the children centre asking me whats he eating “avocado” I say smugly, awaiting her praise on how much of a great job i’m doing. Just stop it Emma. Then he turned 18 months and wouldn’t touch the green mush anymore. I mean could I blame him? Mashed up plain avocado? No thanks. He just came to his senses thats all. I was heartbroken that he wasn’t consuming those healthy fats anymore. Then come 7 years old, alls he wants for dinner is chicken and avocado wraps. A tear came to my eye. So hold on hope guys. We just need to trust our little ones know what they need at the time!
“Have the green mush back mum”
Although, if they’re wanting haribo all of the time, this becomes a grey area. I haven’t released my control with that one.
Let them eat alone or in front of the TV sometimes
I used to be SO against my kids eating in front of the TV. It does have its disadvantages. Missing out on connecting as a family, the kids not really paying full attention to eating and they’re not learning table manners. But at the end of the day, if you feel the urge to pressure your child to eat more and watch your child you may be doing way more harm than sitting at the table together is worth. Let the little one enjoy meal times with their favourite show. Release them from the pressure of us parents watching and pressuring. The end goal is for our children to enjoy their food and eat it. They’re going to feel a lot more relaxed away from us lets face it. Then when we eat out at a restaurant or maybe some days a week we sit down at the table together, it feels so much nicer and thats when we can teach them some table manners. It’s all about balance and variety.
Bad experiences of certain foods
Sometimes ourselves and our children have bad experiences of foods that put us off that food altogether. I thought that I didn’t like carrots for 20 years because i’d only ever had them out of a tin and I just assumed carrots taste like metal. One day I tried carrots again and my brain made new connections and my perspective of carrots completely changed. I also used to pride myself on my little boy eating my homemade sweet potato soup. Very healthy for him. Until one day, being young and foolish I give him the soup scorching hot expecting him to wait and he spoons it into his mouth, scolding his poor little tongue, crying his little eyes out. Never touched any form of soup since. Oh the mum guilt. But that is something I have to accept and trust that one day when he’s ready he will try soup again or maybe never and he will be just fine. Unfortunately his subconscious may of recorded that soup is dangerous and painful. Sorry my boy.
Just be more relaxed with your fussy eater
Life is short and our little ones are only little ones for a little while. Let’s not get angry, worried or stressed. Let’s enjoy their little selves just then way they are. They will grow, they will thrive so long as we are relaxed with them and allow them the space and freedom to try what they want to try. Even if it means wasted food. Even if it means making them something else. We wont create a monster by letting them choose something else to eat. Its only fair seeing as very often us adults fancy something in-particular to eat and not others? Unfortunately children don’t get a say in what they fancy to eat. It’s up to us to be patient, expose them to a variety of foods and let them find what they like.
Get your child involved in the cooking process
I love this fussy eater tip. It can be hard to let your child make a mess of the kitchen and potentially make a mess of dinner, but it is so worth allowing them to get involved in the cooking process. When we are preparing and cooking our own food, it sends signals around the brain and body to get hungry and prepare to eat. This can help so much with increasing your child’s appetite and interest in eating. Not to mention it will boost their happiness when being allowed to join in with the activity. It can also help with bonding time with you and your child, bringing that loving, happy feeling to the dinner table. Which in turn could create a child more open to your encouragement and trying new things. My little boy loves making carbonara, he was able to make it all my himself from scratch by 6 years old. I could see on his face how much he enjoyed eating that meal because he made it. I could also see his self esteem boost as he serves his dish to the rest of our family. It’s a beautiful thing. It’s all about bringing that fun to yours and your child’s life.
You don’t have to let your child make all of the dinner. Just give them little jobs to do like grating the cheese or testing if the pasta is ready. My kids prawn linguine recipe is a great one for the kids to get involved in.
Top fussy eater tips – Be patient with your fussy eater
My little boy went from eating anything to just cheese pasta for a number of years. I decided to be patient and gentle with him and slowly he enjoyed more and more foods. Sometimes certain foods drop off for a while, but I am okay with that because I have to trust him. I found the more I pressure him, the more I show my dissatisfaction, the less he wanted to open up and try something new. It’s so hard when you just want the best for your child but maybe give it a try.
Allow an alternative food
Another one of my fussy eater tips, is to allow an alternative food. I know we shouldn’t let children control us or be spoilt, but if you really are concerned that your child is hungry and not eating his dinner, try allowing a healthy alternative. If my son really doesn’t like what I have made him and especially if he’s tried it, I will allow him to have some peanut butter toast. It provides healthy fats, carbohydrates and protein as well as being calorie dense. Even though I would prefer him to eat the dinner I made, I would never like him to go to bed hungry. His growth and wellbeing is the most important thing. It’s about your own intuition as a parent. Sometimes the child just isn’t hungry, sometimes they really don’t like the meal you give them and most of the time its one of those two.
I hope my fussy eater tips can help you. Some parents may have very differing views and thats cool. Please let me know your views in the comments below and share any of your fussy eater tips you may have. Peace.
For more professional advice visit the fussy eaters page on the NHS website.